Mary and Richard’s Story

My dad, Richard, was one of the kindest people you could ever meet. He was a wonderful dad and grandad, and over the years I’ve had people say to me, “Your dad is exactly the kind of dad I would want.” He was someone you could talk to, someone you could go to for help and someone who never made you feel like you were asking for too much. I think that’s why he was so loved, not just by our family but by so many people around him. 

Then one day, a letter came through the door asking for him to attend a routine bowel cancer screening. We didn’t think much of it at the time. But I don’t think any of us could have imagined that it would lead to a stage four bowel cancer diagnosis. 

Early on, he had a severe allergic reaction and went into anaphylactic shock, so he had to be admitted to intensive care. There was a point where we genuinely thought we were going to lose him. It was such a frightening time for us all. 

Throughout the next 18 months, he was in and out of hospital for treatments. All the way through, he wanted nothing more than to stay at home and be at peace. He just wanted to sit in his living room, have a book in his hand, look out into the garden and spend time with the people he loved most, in the house he had built from the ground up. 

Eventually, it became apparent that nothing more could be done in hospital. And when we were finally able to bring Dad home, it felt like such a relief. I could see how much happier he was straight away.  

After a couple of weeks, we found ourselves struggling to care for him. I would have done anything for my dad, but with very little support, we were trying to manage more and more on our own. While we were doing our best, we didn’t really know what we were doing or what to expect. It was so exhausting, and a lot of the time it felt like we were just trying to make it through each day. So, I made the decision to call the hospice, and I was assured that help was on its way. 

That morning, I opened the door to three of the most wonderful people I have ever met. The Prospect Hospice nurses came in and took over so much of what we had been doing for Dad. They handled his medication, managed his symptoms and make sure he was as comfortable as possible. They even talked to him about his wishes, and it was the first time I had heard him acknowledge that he was dying. It made me so proud listening to him speaking, and hearing that he still wanted to live his life under his terms. 

But they weren’t just there for Dad. They were there for all of us too. Knowing how much we had been struggling, they offered to stay through the night to give us a break. It was exactly what we needed, time to rest and recover. Their support meant that I could enjoy being with him, instead of feeling like I needed to be looking after him. After being his carer, I could finally be his daughter again. 

When the time came, Dad was at home, surrounded by the people he loved and who loved him just as much. One of the nurses stayed with us, guided me through what was happening and helped me say the goodbye I wanted to give. I was able to speak to him, thank him, tell him how much I loved him and let him know that it was okay for him to go. I was holding his hand and she was holding mine. I’ll never forget those final moments with my dad.  

Prospect Hospice helped give Dad the one thing he wanted most, to be at home with his family. And I’ll treasure that forever.